Tanzania bans the Mini. Are we next?

THE old geezers in Tanzania have banned the mini skirt. It had to come sometime. They claim that the very liberal fashion item causes of AIDS. Really? While I won’t go into the temerity or otherwise of that argument, may I be allowed to pause to think deeply over the dire ramification the move will be to the entire male species. Coming as it does on the eve of Valentine’s Day was in extreme bad taste to say the least.

Now let me get this straight. All those years ago the loin cloth was just about the only thing that separated women (and men) from being lashed for indecent exposure. Ogling wasn't even an issue until the missionaries ambled over with their sweet talk about morals and civilisation. Talk about double standards. They even had problems convincing the locals that they were half naked...or is it half dressed?

What really seems to be the problem? Some nerd hypothesised the link between rape and the wearing of mini-skirts. I will be the first to admit that there are perverts prowling the streets who are turned into raving sex maniacs at the slightest sight of thigh. No, not chicken thigh stupid! My beef is on why they have punish the rest of us just because some demented misfits fail to contain their wild urges? But to link the mini to the spread of HIV really takes the cake.

Mini-skirts may admittedly pose a traffic hazard. Then the road safety chaps have to quantify the number of car accidents that are the direct result of drivers being distracted by women wearing minis. That, I am sad to say, is yet to happen. I have read somewhere that there are women who try to influence the outcome of their driving tests by wearing skimpies. Well, the silence from the direction of the Driving Instructors and Inspectors Association on this allegation is certainly deafening. This assumes that there is a propensity among males to stop thinking rationally at the sight of an exposed part of the female anatomy. Really!

The billion Zimbabwe dollar question is; why do ladies choose to wear minis? To show more leg of course! Interestingly enough they still go through all those motions of trying to pull the miniscule item clothing back over their exposed legs, creating more attention in the process. Its all part of the act if you ask me. Ask the feminists and they will tell you that they are exercising one of their basic freedoms – the freedom of expression; the freedom to expose themselves! Which explains why the old men of Tanzania are so worked up. Its not anyone's fault that they are over the hill. Try Viagra, for God's sake!

Not that I mind at all. I have to endure many a elbow in the ribcage as I take too long a glance at a perfect specimen...in the company of the wife. In our language there is a saying; A brave warrior dies in the thick of the battle! Count me among the war veterans. My eyes refuse to follow clear instructions every time. Like every hot blooded male, I have to admit that they do make the environment look more interesting in a manner of speaking. They add a bit of – eh – ouch! More colour!

Today’s woman is daring enough to take the risk in the name of fashion. Pity they now have to contend with Mother Grundy in Tanzania. In Zimbabwe, we await the inevitable with a sore heart (and ribs) indeed.