In Germany after the First World War, prices were doubling every 49 hours. Workers were paid daily or more often with bundles of cash, and would dash out to buy something before it grew more expensive. Someone could buy a bottle of wine, and the next morning the empty bottle could be sold for more than it had cost full. The largest denomination was a 100-billion mark bill, which would buy two postage stamps.
In Bolivia during the mid-eighties, inflation was at 25,000 per cent annually. The stack of money needed to buy a chocolate bar far outweighed the candy.
In Argentina in 1989, prices for some things would double overnight. Many restaurants and stores refused to accept credit cards, because the charges paid at the end of the month were worth much less than they were at the time of purchase.
In Yugoslavia, the rate of inflation was 5 quadrillion per cent between Oct 1, 1993 and Jan 24, 1994. (A quadrillion is a 16-digit number). At the time, it was against the law to refuse personal cheques. Some people wrote them, knowing that in the few days it took for the cheques to clear, inflation would wipe out as much as 90 per cent of the cost of covering the cheques.
We Zimbabweans are only at 680% and you we are complaining?
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
The Earthquake That Shook Zimbabwe
A massive earthquake that shook most of Southern Africa on 24 February 2005 was centered in Mozambique. It measured 7.5 on the Richter scale and surprisingly most Zimbabweans thought the quake was caused by thieves trying to break into their homes. However,seriously, this is what some of Zimbabwe's prominent people thought.
Gideon GONO (Central Bank Governor) - The quake was caused by the shifting of the poverty datum line.
Gift CHIMANIKIRE (Pro-Senate MDC Presidential hopeful) – The earthquake was caused by Arthur Mutambara (another MDC presidential hopeful eventually elected substantive leader of the faction)
Thomas MATIKITI (sci-fi freak) – An UFO landed on top of our house!
Joseph CHINOTIMBA (self-styled War vet) - Thi MDC thinks theyi can scared us, manje we as the war veterenzi we are going to do more earthikwekis bigger than theyazi!
Jonathan MOYO (Former Government spin doctor) - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that this was the work of the opposition, bent on pleasing their colonial masters the British and the Americans. They want to tarnish the image of our country. Now let them be warned that we will not be intimidated and we are going ahead with the land reform programme.
Tafataona MAHOSO (Political commentator) - EARTHQUAKE?? What Earthquake? These are malicious allegations to discredit Zimbabwe ahead of the visit by the IMF.
Aenias CHIGWEDERE (Minister of Education Sport & Culture) - As you well know, we now set our own O'level and A'level exams after withdrawing from the British Cambridge University. We wanted our students to have first hand experience on some of the things they learn at school. Because of this happening, we will be hosting “The Earthquake Commemoration Gala” at Dulibadzimu Stadium in Beitbridge, and then there will also be an Earthquake Challenge Cup match at Rufaro Stadium between Dynamos & Highlanders to raise funds for the Earthquake Education Scholarships.
Archbishop Pius NCUBE (Catholic Archbishop of Bulawayo) - This is what we have been praying for all along. God is not happy with Robert Mugabe's continued abuse of power. Can you explain why this happened on the day of his 82nd birthday? The Gods are not happy even our Ancestors are surely not pleased.
Reverend Obediah MUSINDO (just another overzealous ZANU PF supporter) -Yes! We thank the Almighty God for President vedu, on his birthday. It will be remembered that there was an earthquake, which goes to show without doubt that he is chosen by God to run this country.
Ignatious CHOMBO (Minister of Local Government and Housing) - Yes we would like to thank those who were involved in the Earthquake, it shows their patriotism.
Moses CHUNGA (former Dynamos FC coach) – Ehhhhhhhhhh, I won’t comment, becoz ehhhhh, last time I comment my comments ehhhhhhhhh where regarded as myopic and they fired me!.
Francis NHEMA (Minister of Tourism) – Yes, Zimbabwe is most definitely a safe tourist destination, with many natural wonders. First it was the Solar Eclipse now the Earthquake. We would like to assure everyone who missed it that it will happen again same time next month, so they can start making their bookings.
DR ZOBHA (Mzekezeke wanna be)- Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bridget, its very silly, you know, to think that Zimbabwe as a landlocked country can experience Earthquakes. Mncweeeeeeeeeeee, ndagona!
AND THE GREATEST ONE FROM THE BIG MAN HIMSELF UNCLE BOB - Regrettably, we continue to see the unfortunate and futile tendency to use methods in this area as reward for political compliance and malleability. We are now being coerced to accept and believe that a new political-cum-religious doctrine has arisen, namely that "There is but one political god, George W. Bush, and Tony Blair is his prophet". Even the so-called earthquakes will not stop us, or bring about regime change. Zimbabwe is sovereign country!
Philip CHIYANGWA (Flamboyant Businessman) - You see, these shoes I am wearing are so expensive that the day I first put them on they caused an earthquake. Just shows how much money I have.
Authored by an unknown Zimbabwean with a wicked sense of humour.
Gideon GONO (Central Bank Governor) - The quake was caused by the shifting of the poverty datum line.
Gift CHIMANIKIRE (Pro-Senate MDC Presidential hopeful) – The earthquake was caused by Arthur Mutambara (another MDC presidential hopeful eventually elected substantive leader of the faction)
Thomas MATIKITI (sci-fi freak) – An UFO landed on top of our house!
Joseph CHINOTIMBA (self-styled War vet) - Thi MDC thinks theyi can scared us, manje we as the war veterenzi we are going to do more earthikwekis bigger than theyazi!
Jonathan MOYO (Former Government spin doctor) - It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that this was the work of the opposition, bent on pleasing their colonial masters the British and the Americans. They want to tarnish the image of our country. Now let them be warned that we will not be intimidated and we are going ahead with the land reform programme.
Tafataona MAHOSO (Political commentator) - EARTHQUAKE?? What Earthquake? These are malicious allegations to discredit Zimbabwe ahead of the visit by the IMF.
Aenias CHIGWEDERE (Minister of Education Sport & Culture) - As you well know, we now set our own O'level and A'level exams after withdrawing from the British Cambridge University. We wanted our students to have first hand experience on some of the things they learn at school. Because of this happening, we will be hosting “The Earthquake Commemoration Gala” at Dulibadzimu Stadium in Beitbridge, and then there will also be an Earthquake Challenge Cup match at Rufaro Stadium between Dynamos & Highlanders to raise funds for the Earthquake Education Scholarships.
Archbishop Pius NCUBE (Catholic Archbishop of Bulawayo) - This is what we have been praying for all along. God is not happy with Robert Mugabe's continued abuse of power. Can you explain why this happened on the day of his 82nd birthday? The Gods are not happy even our Ancestors are surely not pleased.
Reverend Obediah MUSINDO (just another overzealous ZANU PF supporter) -Yes! We thank the Almighty God for President vedu, on his birthday. It will be remembered that there was an earthquake, which goes to show without doubt that he is chosen by God to run this country.
Ignatious CHOMBO (Minister of Local Government and Housing) - Yes we would like to thank those who were involved in the Earthquake, it shows their patriotism.
Moses CHUNGA (former Dynamos FC coach) – Ehhhhhhhhhh, I won’t comment, becoz ehhhhh, last time I comment my comments ehhhhhhhhh where regarded as myopic and they fired me!.
Francis NHEMA (Minister of Tourism) – Yes, Zimbabwe is most definitely a safe tourist destination, with many natural wonders. First it was the Solar Eclipse now the Earthquake. We would like to assure everyone who missed it that it will happen again same time next month, so they can start making their bookings.
DR ZOBHA (Mzekezeke wanna be)- Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Bridget, its very silly, you know, to think that Zimbabwe as a landlocked country can experience Earthquakes. Mncweeeeeeeeeeee, ndagona!
AND THE GREATEST ONE FROM THE BIG MAN HIMSELF UNCLE BOB - Regrettably, we continue to see the unfortunate and futile tendency to use methods in this area as reward for political compliance and malleability. We are now being coerced to accept and believe that a new political-cum-religious doctrine has arisen, namely that "There is but one political god, George W. Bush, and Tony Blair is his prophet". Even the so-called earthquakes will not stop us, or bring about regime change. Zimbabwe is sovereign country!
Philip CHIYANGWA (Flamboyant Businessman) - You see, these shoes I am wearing are so expensive that the day I first put them on they caused an earthquake. Just shows how much money I have.
Authored by an unknown Zimbabwean with a wicked sense of humour.
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