Why are we always running late?

There is one thing that we Zimbabweans are so averse to, and that is keeping time. I’ve met dozens of people who are always running late (and that, of course includes me.) Many of them have apparently never heard of that great invention called the watch.

Among those who have received news about the technological breakthrough, some consider a watch nothing more than a piece of jewellery. If it didn’t display the time, they wouldn’t care, as long as it displayed important information such as "Seiko" or "Rolex."

Most of us have never owned a watch. We think they can do without one, even though we don’t work for the civil service. If I have an important appointment, I try to keep track of time by looking at the sun. If not, I rely on people around me. I last wore a watch in 1996 when I was overseas where time is money. The idea was to sell it immediately I back home. You see, here, money is money. Never forget the danger of being mugged as well.

Of the public clocks that we have here in Bulawayo, its only the one at the City Hall that works most of the time. The one at the Main Post Office has never worked for as long as I can remember. I need not mention the one at the High Court. I’m sure it got stuck at that time when some notorious criminal was hanged ages ago. In fact, there are some who believe that Bulawayo is the city where time stood still. If you compare us to Harare interms of development, that is.

Women are classic time wasters. If one is expected to be at a function at 6pm, one would assume that if you are ready to leave before 5.30pm, you are bound to get there right on time. But the woman has only just entered the bathroom, which means that you still have enough time to read a 200-page novel. Most women in their defence are much better at keeping time than many people I know. And I say that not just because I hate sleeping on the sofa.

People from certain countries seem more inclined to be late. For example, if a Swede invited a Zimbabwean and an Indian to lunch at 1pm, the Zimbabwean will arrive at 3pm, unless he gets a lift from his Indian friend, in which case they will both arrive just in time for supper. And neither of them will act as if anything went wrong.

"Apologise? What for? We got here on the same day!"

My friends at our social soccer club Amavevane have tried to adjust to this chronic disease. For example, if we want to play social soccer at 11pm we ask team members to assemble at 9am for them to arrive at 11am, ensuring that the game will start promptly at 1pm. It's far much better than buying them expensive watches.

However, we will never beat the National Railways of Zimbabwe’s shoddy record of constantly not keeping to their timetable. With such a record, who needs a timetable? The night train leaves late as a matter of principle. Never mind the fact that it arrives in Harare a full day later. Remember, why apologise, at least it arrives this century. The chaps at the NRZ perhaps may rest assured that they fare better than Air Zimbabwe, whose planes never seem to take off.

I have bosses who are very irritated when meeting starts late. Never mind the fact that very little if anything is achieved at these marathon meetings, as long as it starts on time, everything is fine. Perhaps I should buy myself those huge clocks to hang around my necks as a reminder that I should not waste other peoples’ time. In any event, which mugger would find a Zobo clock attractive?